redemption

My fall in Lawrence was somewhat redeemed tonight. Congratulations to the Wildcats for their first win over the Jayhawks @ home since 1983!

My favorite text of the evening:

'Go Cats! Nobody beats us 25 times in a row!'

YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT!

worship

I've been absent from blogging. I apologize. Other good things have been filling my mind and keeping me up.

In a conversation with a friend the other day, I was reminded of the words of Don Chaffer (Waterdeep) which are found on the back of You are So Good to Me.

A few months ago, I was down at Bridgeway; Don and Lori were there having the iTunes release concert/party of their latest album, Heart Attack Time Machine. (no, this isnt found anywhere on amazon.com, and yes im sure some smartass is going to find it and post a comment about how they found it and I didnt). As Lance was coming up to teach, he turned to Don & Lori (Don had been helping lead worship that morning) and simply thanked them for who they were and their friendship with Bridgeway. He went on to say that he felt the prophets of today are the musicians, speaking truth and hope and power to the masses. As I've thought about that perspective, I've come to agree (Derek Webb & U2 quickly come to mind).


And so, may these prophetic words wash over our souls, and call us to worship from the midst of real life:

There are seasons of life in which we wake up each morning with the fulfilled dreams of victory, love, satisfaction, and resolution ringing in our ears. The morning air rushes in with the promise that anything can happen, God is nearby, and we are really loved. Worship is, at these times, a gift – a way of saying thank you. Thank you, God because whether I was aware of it or not, whether I sought You through this experience or not, I see you in it now, and I am so grateful for Your kindness toward me.

There are other seasons of life, however, whether we're comfortable with admitting it or not, in which it feels like we're at the bottom of a well- deep, dark, and muddy. In our worst moments, we can no longer see the mouth of the well, and we sometimes wonder if there even is one. Worship, at these moments in particular, becomes a rope. Even if we have no strength to climb it, our cold and lonely fingers wrapped around its braid become a symbol that we are still connected to something, someone, in the world above- the world with skies, tress, rivers, and kind people whom we miss terribly.

And then there are seasons in which we feel that perhaps nothing is terribly wrong, and nothing is terribly right. We are somewhere on the plains, in the middle of the country, looking for miles with no trees to break our view, no valleys, no mountains. We are well air-conditioned, well fed, well attended by people who neither agree with us too passionately, nor disagree with us too strongly. We are happy, we guess, but we don't think we remember how happiness feels, or whether it is what we thought it was. Worship is, at these times, a bell. It rings to remind us that life, while it may seem vapid and featureless, is truly a tremendous affair. It is birth and death, suffering and resurrection. The clear sound of that bell on the winds tells us that the lull of comfort does not mean that God is far off or irrelevant. He is always near and always in love, always holy, and always coming… He is coming. He will finish things here, and begin a new kind of kingdom- a world without end. He will reign over His subjects who have been changed to be like Him, full of love, peace, and joy forever and ever. May this King be praised. Amen.

Don Chaffer / 08.16.00 / Wichita, KS

in-breaking freedom

Last year, our prairie village house church watched Martin Luther King Jr's I have a dream speech in its entirety. Despite immense familiarity, I couldn't recall hearing all of it before.

May it remind us of latent passions for equality and peace. May we act today, this day, in forgiveness and confession. May we come together as one and bring about a better world for ourselves and the generations of our children.

my latest musical obsessions

in the last couple of months, i've gotten into the habit of sharing what i've been listening to. typically these songs come from albums i have on repeat, but the songs i share always get two or three extra plays per round.

when a song captures me, i tend to listen to it over and over. wonderful for my soul as i explore the meanings and ideas, torture for my passengers who think the song absolutely sucks.

this time around...
i've been loving Hey Jude and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds from Across the Universe Soundtrack, but particularly, Blackbird has grabbed me:

imagination

a few days ago, i finished reading the Golden Compass. i started it saturday morning and finished it sunday evening. the ability to read quick and an airplane ride aided in my feat.

i'm not sure how i weigh in on all the fuss (then again, i haven't opened book 2 or 3: the Subtle Knife and the Amber Spyglass, respectively), but overall i really enjoyed it. in a world often stripped of imagination and wonder, i am drawn to anything that makes our eyes sparkle with possibility and reminds us that the way of humanity is not fear and self-motivated hedonism, but instead love and sacrifice.

or as C.S. Lewis reminds us in the Weight of Glory:

The books or music in which we thought the beauty was located will betray us if we trust to them; it is not in them, it only came through them, and what came through them was longing. These things - the beauty, the memory of our own past - are good images of what we really desire; but if they are mistaken for the thing itself, they turn into dumb idols, breaking the hearts of the worshipers. For they are not the thing itself; they are only the scent of a flower we have not found, the echo of a tune we have not heard, news from a country we have never yet visited. Do you think I am trying to weave a spell? Perhaps I am; but remember your fairy tales. Spells are used for breaking enchantments as well as for inducing them. And you and I have need of the strongest spell that can be found to wake us from the evil enchantment of worldliness which has been laid upon us for nearly a hundred years (emphasis mine).

my new loves.

in the last months, i've discovered my new outdoor loves. interestingly, the all start with S-N-O. nope, that's really not interesting at all.

in a particular order:
1. SNOrkeling

2. SNOwshoeing

3. SNOwboarding (a distant third)


now all i have to do is find a tropical climate that has blistering cold winters with mountains nearby. or do a lot of travel.


here's the gang snowshoeing last saturday. so amazing.

(L to R: JD, Tyler, Amanda, Me, Paul & Nicole)

i suppose i'll share my answers

Luke tagged me on this. i'm pretty certain it's blogging etiquette to comply, but I dont think this will be nearly as much fun since Luke named half the books I was thinking of on his list. I think we influence each other too much.

One book that changed your life:

the Wisdom of the Enneagram. the Power of Full Engagement. Renovation of the Heart. and, of course, the friends that introduced them to me. (yes, that is 3 books. i change rules to my advantage as much as possible.)

One book that you read more than once:

Actually, for the first time last week, I ended a book and then immediately started it over: the Challenge of Jesus. Also, the Ragamuffin Gospel is a multi-read through. It has to be.


One book that you would want on a desert island:

Probably a survival guide. This one looks adequate.


One book that made you laugh:

I am America (and so can you) and I haven't even read it. It's that good.


One book that made you cry:

Tragically, I'm not much of a crier; I'm working on it. So when my eyes get damp while reading a book... I'm basically letting it all go! I remember a story in What's so Amazing about Grace getting to me, as did some of the climaxes in the Harry Potter epic.


One book you wish you had written:

In the Name of Jesus: Reflections on Christian Leadership... merely because I wish I believed & lived 25% of what Nouwen says. Brilliantly refreshing.


One book you are currently reading:

Freakenomics. Any book that has a chapter titles: 'why do drug dealers still live with their moms?' and then explains it... is amazing!


One book you have been meaning to read:

the Brothers Karamazov. Yes, Luke. You gave it to me 2 Christmases ago. I still haven't read it. I did pick it up and read a little bit, but comeon, it's terribly difficult reading! I'll get to it soon!

rome friends

Last night, I had the opportunity to quickly talk with Billy & Kelly Patterson and their boys: Will, Caleb, Coleman & Wes. They are one of two families that my friends and I went to Rome to encourage and equip in their church planting endeavors this last summer (which is hilarious to even say; we learned so much from them! Way more than we gave).

They were in Oklahoma for the weekend hanging with the rest of the group from Bridgeway. I was grieved to miss them. It was great to hear their voices and stories. Independently, the two oldest, Will & Caleb, told me their favorite part of their trip (Florida, Dallas, & OKC) was playing in the grass (Rome doesnt have much)!

Kelly shared some beautiful words:

we always accomplish less in the first year than we thought, and much more in five.

in grand attempts, it's glorious even to fail.

If you think of them, pray for Billy & Kelly, Alan & Tina, and the rest of the team. They are wonderful people bringing love and hope to a world in desperate need.


Here's a picture of Coleman & I on our last day in Rome. Wes took the picture. Coleman is this wonderful artist who drew the six of us as superheros. In beautiful insight he portrayed each of our spiritual gifts. He's a special little man.



Im hoping to head back to Rome sometime before '09. 3 days. 7 days. a month. Anyone interested to join in?

im serious.

Once, finally

when i first saw the Once trailer, i remember thinking: i need to watch that; i'm going to like it.

i've been meaning to for months, but i missed it in the theaters and just hadn't gotten around to it. until now. i gave Once to my good friend Katie for Christmas and borrowed it last weekend (note the craftiness...) for my [relatively] solitude retreat.

i was right: i absolutely loved it! beautifully shot and beautifully tragic. if you haven't see it, you need to. you might as well buy the soundtrack too. it's amazing!

and yes, Dublin is now on my places to experience list.

it's cussing cold (PG version)

i just got back from my first day snowboarding ever. jd was a great coach, and we had a blast. it was like the good ole days of sharing a room in lawrence. the good ole days being late november!


it is true that colorado has a 'dry' cold and therefore it doesn't seem so cold. yet, the high today was still 18 deg. 18! so cold, i could cuss. my favorite (PG) cussing way to say it's cold:

fudgsicles! it's cold out.

dont worry, im surviving with some fruit & almond tea and oven-baked pizza!

bursting through clouds

when i left Kansas City, the weather was what i love: downright dreary. 38 deg. snow & rain. plain nasty. i love it because it forces me indoors: to a good book or conversation. and probably to some sort of warm beverage. but not beer. warm beer isn't good.

minutes after lifting off, our plane burst through the clouds to a still and bright evening sky. a few minutes later, we came to edge of the storm system. currently, i'm looking down on the beautiful flint hills. it all reminded me of the scene from Matrix Revolution. (i knew there was a reason i sat through two bad sequels!)

it seems funny to say, but i found the experience deeply refreshing. as the scene unfolded before me, my deepest self sighed and spoke: this is how life is. it's a struggle. something that you must work at, pour yourself into, risk. because genuine risk births Life at it's deepest. and somehow, if we quit risking, we quit living.


[for my Christian friends, i wonder if we should reconsider an alternative or at least an additional understanding of Jesus' words: 'For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for me will find it.' could it be that Jesus is not (merely) speaking about some 'spiritual' reality, but instead how God ordered the world... risking is living... sacrifice is abundance... giving & serving is receiving...? thus, to risk and expend yourself possibly is the most fully human (and therefore Christian) thing one can do!]


last weekend, during a silent retreat preceding mine with Katie & Tyler, i was reminded of the scene from Meet Joe Black where Anthony Hopkins speaks of love. beautiful words, and i think they've got as much to say about life as they do romance:





[we're now over snow-covered western kansas. it may suck driving from kansas to colorado, but flying is beautiful!]

a weekend away

i'm sitting in the Kansas City airport. drinking some Starbucks, waiting for a plane to Denver (thank you KCI for having free Wi-Fi!) . a fun graham fact: i was born in Denver. i lived there 3 months before the family up and moved to Germany. i can't remember the last time i've been to Denver... or Colorado for that matter... so it's a bit of a homecoming. no, not really.

i'm still excited!

in Denver, my friend Rachel is picking me up and we're joining up with a carload from Lawrence at the tourist trap/mexican restaurant Casa Bonita. i LOVE mexican food, but cliff divers... magic shows... i'm sure i'll have a strong opinion in a few hours.

after the, err, entertainment, we're heading off to Winter Park to join up with my old roommate & good friend, JD, for a weekend of snowboarding, hearts with consequences, and hopefully some hours in a coffee shop. pretend like i havent researched what coffee shops are in WP... i think i'm more excited for that than i am snowboarding!

in case you wanted to know...

Rum & Coke isnt as good if you use flat Coke Zero. It just isn't.

Fairy Tale

(one of my family's long-running jokes is that i'm not good at finding things. since i was a wee one, i have story after story of being asked to go find something. time and time again i come back and declare that the object just cannot be found. it is utterly missing. irretrievable.

then, someone else goes looking and alas 30 seconds later it is found.

my mom's response every time: 'look with your eyes.'


a few weeks ago, i shared the sad news that i had lost one of my favorite books Telling the Truth.

it is found.

where did i find it? not on the top shelf of my bookcase, but on the second one. who looks on the second shelf anyways?)

And so, after a month break, here it is... the Gospel as a Fairy Tale:

As for the king of the kingdom himself, whoever would recognize him? He has no form or comeliness. His clothes are what he picked up at a rummage sale. He hasn't shaved for weeks. He smells of mortality. We have romanticized his raggedness so long that we can catch echoes only of the way it must have scandalized his time in the horrified question of the Baptist's disciples, 'Are you he who is to come?' (Matt. 11:13); in Pilate's 'Are you the king of the Jews?' (Matt 27:11) you with pants that don't fit and a split lip; in the black comedy of the sign they nailed over his head where the joke was written out in three languages so nobody would miss the laugh.

But the whole point of the fairy tale of the Gospel is, of course, that he is the king in spite of everything. The frog turns out to be the prince, the ugly duckling the swan, the little gray man who asks for bread the great magician with the power of life and death in his hands, and though the steadfast tin soldier falls into the flames, his love turns out to be fireproof. There is no less danger and darkness in the Gospel than there is in Brothers Grimm, but beyond and above all there is the joy of it, this tale of a light breaking into the world that not even the darkness can overcome.

That is the Gospel, this meeting of darkness and light and the final victory of light. That is the fairy tale of the Gospel with, of course, the one crucial difference from all other fairy tales, which is that the claim made for it is that it is true, that it not only happened once upon a time but has kept on happening ever since and is happening still. To preach the Gospel in its original power and mystery is to claim in whatever way the preacher finds it possible to claim it that once upon a time is this time, now, and here is the dark wood that the light gleams at the heart of like a jewel, and the ones who are to live happily ever after are... all who labor and are heavy laden, the poor naked wretches wheresoever they be.

Leadershipity

I took retreat with Katie and Tyler (the other community pastors for our House Church network) yesterday. From 9:30a til about 8:30p, we shared from our lives and dreamed for the future. We also drank some beer, threw the frisby (I purchased my first from Sunflower Bike Shop. Im officially Lawrence), and listened to the Once soundtrack multiple times through... sorry T.

My favorite moment from the day was our discussion of leadershipity.

leadershipity [lee-der-ship-ety] - the leadership that one has in their life.

Ex. 'Yeah, Tyler does a really good job of inviting people into what he's doing and encouraging them forward on their journey; he's got a lot of leadershipity.'


Katie on Leadershipity:

Leadershipity... which sounds a lot like Leadershitty... which sounds a lot like Shitty Leader.

We try not to be shitty leaders, but sadly, it sometimes happens.

addicted. tempted.

my latest addiction is Citizen Cope's the Clarence Greenwood Recordings particularly Bullet and a Target.

(Tay got me hooked with his Son's Gonna Rise while in Rome)


thus, my latest temptation is to throw down $20.50 and see him Feb 26 @ Liberty Hall.


anybody interested to join me?

merry new years

imagine my surprise when Christmas morning i discover that my parent's decided to buy me movies off my amazon wish list rather than books.

really?

call me crazy, but i thought NT Wright would beat out Bruce Willis any day... especially on Christmas. what can i say? the ripples ended up watching Die Hard 2: Die Harder Christmas afternoon. YIPPEE KI YAY!


come to find out, my parents did get me books... just as new year presents: 2 of NT's (i'm in a beautiful rut. we share a love of snorkeling). Rollin's How Not to Speak of God.

but the one i'm most excited about...

Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything

Rogue... yes!

Exploration... yes!

Hidden... yes!

Economics... ok?

i'm excited. and a complete dork.

favorite Christmas picture.

this is my favorite Christmas picture from this year. its me and my grandmother, Nanny. it's from a photo shoot i took while we were discussing the difficulty of being humble. it seemed fitting.



it's also important to note that i'm wearing the shirt that Nanny told me 'wasn't me.' this is how the conversation went:

Nanny: that shirt really isn't you

me: yeah, it's pretty loud

Nanny: no, it's just that the shirt isn't you

me: yep, it's loud

Nanny: no, it's not loud. it's just not you

oh, so maybe it's loud and not me?